Times Like These...

A favorite song of mine has a chorus that says the following;

"It's times like these you learn to live again. It's times like these you give and give again. It's times like these you learn to love again. It's times like these time and time again."

Last night me and the wife (I know that's bad grammar) got into a bit of a tiff (that's putting it lightly). And like any couple who loves each other we know just the things to do and say to really let the other one have it! Needless to say I went to bed angry and I woke up that way too. The morning continued the way the evening had ended and I had a pretty bad outlook on my Tuesday morning. Not only was I fighting with my wife, but I've been pretty worried about our finances; the overwhelming weight of adoption fees, foster care expenses, and master level education costs are weighing heavy on me.

Now hours later God's brought my focus back on what's important. It's crazy how the Big Guy works that out. Today he chose two songs (Yahweh by U2 & Times Like These by The Foo Fighters) and my 86 year old Granny to speak to me.

I realize that its so easy for us to get caught up in our own lives, our own struggles, our own list of grievances. For us they're the biggest problems in the world because they deal with ME. It sounds so selfish, but I realize I am a selfish person. I want what a want I want when I want it (Billy Seibert line). Because of this major flaw God continually has get me in check. So...this is how it went down.

It's 8am, I'm driving to Monmouth with my Granny and Nate the Great so my Aunt Janet can do some spur of the movement daycare for us. Now if you know my Granny she can be a talker (most of which I've heard many times before) and today was no different. And if you know me when I'm mad I don't talk. Those two things combined equals Granny talking a lot and Jordan saying Uh Huh repeatedly. I think my Granny knows when I'm in a bad mood and she has a way of preaching to me in some special way that only a Granny like her knows how to do. She said, "Jordan isn't it wonderful how God can make such beauty out of all this mess (she was talking about all the colorful trees). I said 'Uh Huh'. And she went on to talk about her next senior circle outing (Ha Ha). But in the that one little sentence it was like God just bitch slapped me (yes I know I wrote the word bitch/get over it) and said "hey get over yourself, you're not that important. and if I take care of the trees, the birds of the air, the lilies of the field don't you have enough faith in me that I'll do at least that much for you?" Every once in a while I need God to speak to me through my little ol granny cause when she speaks I hear him loud and clear.

God wanted to drive home the point that I need to get over my selfish 'I & me' way of thinking and so he used a song by U2. This afternoon I had a WIC appointment for our foster son Nate. Linz and I love Nate as if he's our own. We love him more than words can describe and this morning brought news that is both good and bad (depending on who you are and how you look at it). Now for reasons beyond my control I cannot discuss the news concerning Nate with you (most of it I'm not able to know myself), but let me just say if you're looking for a heart wrenching made for tv movie idea...I've got one for ya (for the right price of course!). As I'm driving to the health department this is all on my mind. The piddly fight with Linz (gone), the financial worries (gone), now in their place the saga of a lil 8 month old angel! My iPod was on shuffle and the song Yahweh came on. The chorus goes like this....

Yahweh, Yahweh. Always pain before the child is born. Yahweh, Yahweh tell me now. Why the dark before the dawn?

It's this story about a person crying out to the creator of all things saying, "God, O God why all this pain in the life that has yet to begin? God, O God why is there so much darkness before I ever see the light?" So, at this point I'm crying and singing (screaming) this U2 song and I get what God's laying down. His awesomeness is so far beyond comprehension and if we could figure why he does what he does he wouldn't be God. He showed me again that when Jesus said pick up your cross and follow me daily he meant for us to pick up and carry all of those 'things' we're constantly asking God to take from us. And not only that we should be in the business of helping others carry their crosses too, especially those who don't even know they have a cross to begin with (to me that's Nate the Great and two lil angels in Africa I don't even know yet).

So, I'm finished with the appointment and I'm heading back to FPC and the iPod is still on shuffle and "Times Like These" comes on. God is at it again. It was just what I needed to hear at just the right time. "It's times like these you learn to live again"- everything I'd been so preoccupied with today was gone. I learned to live again and that to me means placing my wife, my son, and my future children's needs above my own. "It's times like these you give and give again" - God's gonna stretch ya and we should embrace the discomfort (romans 5:3-5). I want to give to Nate because he gives so much in return without even knowing it. I wanna give to two little ones in Africa who don't know me and Linz because we know how much their giving too us (without knowing it too). "It's times like these you learn to love again" - sometimes I think I know what love is and then I realize I confine the vastness of God's true love. The love that God knows and desires for us to embrace is one that give itself to the fullest even unto death. I want to love on my wife and these little angels even if it means my very own life - it's all I have and I'd gladly give it. "It's times like these time and time again" - this means that I'll forget the truth I've just experienced. I'll turn around and get on with my life. I'll return to a life of selfish living (if I'm not careful) and time and time again God will have to get my focus back on track.

God thank you for today. Thank for the blessings and the curses (sometimes I think they're one in the same). Thanks for the angels in my life. Thank you for those that are still yet to come.

Blessings to you all. Thanks for reading.